Friday, June 25, 2010

Bipolar Mohler

I can’t say a lot about today, which happens sometimes when I don’t leave the grounds. Since visitors’ weekend is coming up and it was only 112 degrees outside, I thought it might be a good time to sweep out my ill-ventilated garage, which I've done twice before in the five years I’ve lived here. I knew luck wasn’t on my side when I found three live geckos stuck in the glue traps that the pest control guy had left for scorpions. My heart sunk deeper with each paint can I dropped on the traps, Sophie's worst choice. I put them—-traps and all—-in the Dumpster in the alley, along with the roach carcasses, leaves, icky pennies, and other small debris I had swept up.

Lost in my heart of darkness, gecko-murderer, sweeping dirt with sweat pouring down my face and a sick feeling creeping into my belly from warm Kool-Aid, I looked up and saw, to my horror, that somebody had parked in my driveway. Oh my God, my heart skipped a beat, who could it be, who was going to see me like this, there was blood splatter, my socks didn’t match and I was wearing my “Bipolar Mohler” t-shirt with my dad’s face on the front, *not funny now*, even my tinted Clearasil had melted away to reveal the biggest zit I’d ever had as the adult child of an alcoholic, oh my God...oh wait, that was my car.


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  1. I want you to know that this is my second attempt to post a comment and it will never be as good as my previous attempt. Anyway, it is good for the soul, the brain, the emotions to clean out the garage, a catharsis if you will of all the junk and debrie of the years past. I encourage you to buy a blower and it will clean out all the nooks and corners ridding you of dead scorpions, spiders and other insects. The geckos however, are good to keep around. Take care and see you at breakfast Bob

  2. Another comment: wow, when I went to search for your blog address, I typed and got the wildest sites of all the hotgirls in the area. After a daliance with the mouse inspecting the menu, I went onwards to .... I wonder if any of them had a day in the garage sweeping geckos and scorpions.